Beginnings

"Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know." -Hemingway

"I care for myself.  The more solitary, the more friendless, the more unsustained I am, the more I will respect myself." -Charlotte Bronte, Jane Eyre

"Things we lose have a way of coming back to us in the end, if not always in he way we expect." -Dumbledore, Harry Potter

"We can meet again somewhere, somewhere far away from here." -Harry Styles, Sign of the Times

"Everywhere I see bliss, from which I alone am irrevocably excluded." -Frankenstein, Mary Shelley


"We can meet again somewhere, somewhere far away from here"
                                                      -Sign of the Times, Harry Styles

wilted bloom

if i could only see the sky, the way you see it
maybe my eyes could open gently in the morning
maybe i could breathe the air and it wouldn't feel
so heavy.
maybe i could float like you

cause you glaze and you gloss,
you shimmer and you sparkle
everyone knows that you sparkle--
i drown in glitter everyday,
to be maybe half deserving of you

hell, i'd drown in that pink milky bath. drink that water
to feel the butterfly against my chest
and swim among the flowers. i swear i'd stop
my crying.
so i will wake up for you, if i cannot with you

Endings

Before I breed more misery
Before I echo a similar sentiment
Before I gaze back at you
Before I interfere with you and her
Before I hint of what I did
Before I mourn the loss of him

I sneak in past twilight, and hold back any tears
we're asleep is what we tell them.
I wonder if my imprint is ever felt the next day--
Before I interfere with you and her

Do it! Places

grey, not just the color but an overall feeling of grey, smog, heavy air, living in a bubble, voices, screams, yells, every name and profanity in the book, bruises, in more places than one, from more person than one, wincing, cringing, crying, a cloud above you head, a mood that lasts all day

list/mess of rhetorical figures as per usual
-34 miles makes such a difference
-is my town now brighter?
-is there smog in places that are not LA
-memories only half repressed
-broken fences and cars in yards
-no escape emotionally, at any hour of the day
-piles of clothes
-piles of bottles
-no end in sight, or so i thought
-then again does it ever really end?
-or just another type of sadness

Reason 1537 I relate to no one

Bleakness and mediocrity,
somehow I knew then.
People settling and feeling
things I could not

Smog filled the air. It filled my mind-
my heart, my soul
every fiber of my then confused being.
no end in sight

Piles of clothes and piles of bottles,
empty because why not?
I tried to keep it together,
as if cleaning brought cleansing

Hallways of screams,
words I never knew,
memories and scars created
as if they ever knew.

Bruises can fade
though we know where they came.
from here and from there
from you and him and from her.

Broken fences now are only from snow.
And lives seem brighter,
is everything whiter?
is everything repressed, from 34 miles away

Do it! Objects

a beer can, 16 oz, silver, antique gold, paisley, bees that are somehow not terrifying, teal, milk & honey, leaves, cream, sweet layered smell, smooth feel, brown ale brewed with lactose and honey, small and large words, flowy sophisticated font, earth tones

a mess of rhetorical figures/random thoughts

-sad and lonely, the last of its kind
-a vessel for my loneliness
-smooth outside and in
-teal like the ocean
-tan as if the sand and sun mixed as one
-frills and trills and spills
-twirls and swirls
-intoxicating on its way to my lips
-left on my nightstand post intoxication
-two things that don't belong together
-two things that maybe should be together
-on a journey with a book
-two of the same name
-both on trip, back to you
-after all it was a gift from you
-antique gold like my new ring
-a ring so similar to ones you used to give me
-cold and heavy to the touch
-yet warm and inviting once inside
-but how many does it take to get inside ?
-inside me or inside you?

Do it! Ekphrastic

http://www.metmuseum.org/art/collection/search/545936?sortBy=Relevance&ft=Blue&offset=20&rpp=20&pos=33

It's a small bowl, almost like a cup for pouring cream into coffee.  The color is somewhere between cerulean and teal.  Tiny black drawings and markings all around it.  Maybe a person a giraffe a lion and a turtle.  Maybe some smoke or wind above them blowing around.  Slight texture and ware on the piece, but still looks to be in good condition.  I would imagine it to feel like marble, heavy and smooth and comfortably cold.

Small and smooth and teal,
clean and crisp and curved.
Flowing and turning
giving and pouring.
A turtle leads the way
and a human in last place

Vast and round and cerulean,
worn and cold and crescent.
Drawing and marking
collapsing and relinquishing.
A sea underneath the heard
and and ocean within their whole.

Pen Pal Poem

Dear Florencia,
     I hope the makeup I've sent you for christmas has finally gotten there by now, on account of it's March and all.  I hope you enjoy the dewy glow of the highlighter, the sharpness of the tattoo liner, the creamy pigmented shadows, and of most of all the most matte, black lipstick I could find.  Because when I think of edgy soft goth I think of you.  Also I put the picture of Niall you wrapped my present in on my bookstand so I can be motivated by his beauty every morning when I awake.  Next time I will be sure to wrap yours in a picture of Zayn to blossom similar inspirations.  Hope Argentina is well, I'm sure New York will have similar weather soon.  Love Always, Katelyn

Words that stuck out:
Florencia
dewy glow
edgy soft goth
blossom
Niall
wrapped
bookstand
Zayn
sharpness
tattoo

Dear Florencia,

I hope when you finally get your gifts,
you embrace the dewy glow,
the edgy soft goth.

I blossom into a new woman,
every morning when I see Niall.

I wish to inspire you
to do the same.
Be wrapped up in Zayn

in his sharpness and tattoos.
And sit by your bookstand in awe.

Love Always, Katelyn

20 Things I Did

I found myself in a place so distant.
I brought myself to a place so familiar.
I grabbed his sheets and pulled them over.
I grabbed a coffee on the way to work.
I bought some glitter with his money.
I went to a friends and ignored some calls.
I drank three coffees the next day.
I cried in front of too many people to count.
I ended up back in his bed.
I wore only black lace.
I laced my words with seductive meaning.
I felt things I swore I'd never feel again.
I accepted a coffee and it all started.
I looked around at the pile of books.
I piled the sheets like mountains around me.
I fell down a rabbit hole.
I did some things that I can't speak.
I haven't worn the glitter yet.
I tried to wash him away but just won't leave.